My New Career as a Criminal

After 19 years I'm beginning to master the way to get things done according to the local mores.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself lugging home a new scanner which I had bought while walking my dog. The combination of heat, humidity, dog, and scanner was wearing me down, when I saw a bus that stops practically on my doorstep approach the bus stop I happened to be near. Doggie is quite accustomed to riding on buses, cars, and trains, and hopped on unhesitatingly. As I was paying my fare (and hers - dogs pay full fare!) the driver asked me if I had a muzzle for her.

American Savtadotty: Oh, yes but I forgot to bring it with me. [Gets off the bus and walks home, sweltering and fuming.]

Newly-Israeli corrupted Savtadotty: Yes. [Technically this is true.]

Bus Driver: Be sure to put it on her as soon as you sit down.

Israeli Savtadotty: Yes. [Lying through her teeth. Chooses a single seat directly behind the driver, dog sits down between savta and closed side of bus, seen by no one and bothering no one. Savta carries dog off bus from rear exit at her stop.]

It took me 19 years to learn that:
1. Most bus and train riders in Tel Aviv practically swoon when they see my dog.
2. The bus driver was reciting a script and didn't have his heart in it, so one could assume he was just going through the motions.
3. I wasn't risking anything except my own self-righteousness.