Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Bagrut Bloopers

Finally tackling some papers I've been saving for too long, I discovered a gem of a collection of mistakes that Israeli High School seniors made on their English matriculation exams*:

[Pizza preparation]
Try putting fungus on your pizza.

You should preparing the pizza as follows: Put the floud and water in the bowel and scrumble it with the spoon.

To make pizza, you have to hit the oven first.

[Application for a summer camp counselor job]

Before I started to play basketball, I was a thick child.

I would like to know the conditions in the camp and if I have to sleep with the youth.

I was in America several times and so I speak fluency English.

[Environmental issues]
We should put garbage into a pubic bin.

In Haifa, there are breeding problems among older people.

Because Israel is a small country, it gets dirty easily.

The Israeli drivers use their zippers a lot and make a lot of noise.

*collected by Stephen Schulman, Senior Examiner for the 1994 Bagrut English Examination, published in an AACI magazine.


Fred said...

Well, in some houses, you just may have to hit the oven first.

I see bloopers like this from people who are supposed to know English!

Lucy Stern said...

I like the one about Isreal being a small country so it gets dirty easily..that's a hoot.

Yael K said...

lol, that is a scream!

Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, I'm laughing. But you KNOW that most American kids couldn't write one word of Hebrew.

So, my hat's off to these people, truly.

Tamar said...

Brilliant! You made my day.

Savtadotty said...

Fred, I know you have to kick the computer and whack the printer sometimes, but I never before heard of hitting the oven.

Lucy, isn't it logical? Especially when some people throw their garbage out the window, but the student neglected to mention that.

Yael, wait until you read your students' papers. You'll have to start your own blooper collection!

TLP - you are so kind. The truth is, American kids don't need Hebrew, but Israeli kids do need English. You Superpower, you.

Tamar - I'm so glad! Thanks for letting me know.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I live in America and I am not especially fluency in American, either. Is disclizzle to me.

noorster said...

Hey, the one about the camp is a legitimate concern.

Udge said...

I like fungus on my pizza, also mozarella and peperoni.

What boggles my mind is the noisy zippering of the Israeli drivers. What can s/he have meant?

Savtadotty said...

Hoss - I really like "disclizzle." What country/planet are you from?

noorster - You're right: it is a legitimate concern. And Israelis call Americans "naive."

udge - According to in my English-Hebrew dictionary "honk" is "zappar," so student made a transliteration guess, but it didn't work. Sometimes it does, though.

Ivy the Goober said...

Hoss sent me over to read the bloopers!

Savtadotty said...

Welcome, Ivy!