Friday, May 16, 2008

Will You Still Love Me?

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?

Well I'm way past 64 - I'm 71 to be exact - and until this year truly believed I was 26. Every year I just got to be a better and wiser 26. Oh I didn't look 26 and I didn't try to, but I felt 26. I guess I could describe it as feeling like a 26-year-old trapped in a slowly aging body.

This past year several things happened and now I'm feeling - and it's been sudden - like an old woman, nearing the end of her life. No need to list them: a litany of life-events that will happen to you too some day, if they haven't already, provided you live long enough. I'm still clinging to the notion that the medication I've been taking for psoriasis - methotrexate - is the cause of this unpleasant shift in perspective, and at this moment the Gods of Socialized Medicine in Israel are deciding whether I can switch to another, newer, much more costly, and possibly more effective treatment. Assuming they approve my request, there are two big unanswered questions:

1) will the new meds keep my psoriasis under control without nasty side-effects?
2) will I return to feeling 26?

The third question, the one I'm really afraid to ask or count, is: what if the answers to both of those questions are negative?

Tune in next week.

And what about Naomi? **

**Can you remember the source of this quote without Googling?


Gila said...

Hi! Sorry I have been out of touch. :(

Speaking from my own experience, dealing with long, drawn out medical issues can have a significant impact on how you see yourself and the world. I think that people often do not realize how tiring it is. I suspect that if things go as you wish, and you can move over to a less oppressive regime, you should get at least a part of your old self back.

Anonymous said...

I don't remember the source of the quote, but I do remember the quote itself, given that I've got a cousin named Naomi. It was a very popular quote in our family!

And speaking from my own assortment of experiences, I can definitely agree with Gila. Dealing with medical issues totally tire you out, both mentally and physically. Hopefully, you'll be able to switch meds, and you'll start to feel like your other self again.

Fred said...

I had to Google it.

I know what you mean about the meds. I take some for high cholesterol, and have to occasionally take some for acid reflux.

I wish I didn't have to take them at all.

SavtaDotty said...

Gila, You have learned more lessons from your experience than most people learn in a whole lifetime, so I value your comment very highly. Thanks, and hope to see you again soon.

Liza, It's from "Love of Chair," a segment of "The Electric Company" TV show I used to watch with my kids. It was spoof of soap operas, and Naomi never appeared in the show itself.

Fred, I think by the time modern medicine is finished with us, we'll be like a car that's had every part replaced except for the serial number!

RivkA with a capital A said...

I had to google it too!

Here's a link to the wikipedia article:
Love of Chair

For a video clip of one of the Love of Chair episodes, go to this site, then click on video clips, then click on "more clips"
Love of Chair(video clip)