Saturday, August 30, 2008

My Daughter's Tenth Anniversary

This is definitely Celebration Week chez Savta! After my "alyahversary" and Mermaid Girl's birthday two days ago, today marks ten years since my daughter Elswhere and her beloved Renaissance Woman committed themselves to each other in a thrilling and moving ceremony attended by almost 100 supportive family and friends in a beautiful Pacific Northwest setting. And five years ago today they repeated their commitment in a legal marriage in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

I wish I could say that I was understanding and supportive from the beginning, long before she met Renaissance Woman, but the truth is I wasn't. As liberal and open-minded as I thought I was, when it came to my own daughter I was fearful. I worried about her closing off opportunities for herself professionally and socially, shrinking her world. I worried that my own friends and family would reject her. And, to be completely honest, I worried that they would think, as I did, that I had failed as a mother.

Luckily for me, she was willing to keep communication channels open during that difficult period, and when she and Renaissance Woman began to get serious, I (finally!) realized I needed to come to grips with reality. Luckily I found a parents' support group right in my Tel Aviv neighborhood that not only remedied my misunderstanding of my daughter and other lesbians and gays, but did it in Hebrew.

So Elswhere, I salute you today for remaining true to yourself (and for finding a way to send your mother to Hebrew school). And with all my heart I wish you and Renaissance Woman a Happy Anniversary.

3 comments:

Tamar Orvell said...

Your post is about the best kind of mother's love: honest, open, reflective, and ultimately fun and funny (cf., the Hebrew school bit). Wonderful. And much joy to all.

Fred said...

Congratulations to Elsehere. It's funny, as my own children move on, I wonder if they thought I was a good father. Time will tell, I guess.

Savtadotty said...

Tamar, Your comment means a lot to me. We are daughters who know how complicated it is to be one. Being a mother is just the other side of that coin!

Fred, You could ask them, but not until they're out on their own. Meanwhile I'll tell you: you're the best father they could possibly have. You stayed around for the "duration," you modeled responsible behavior, and you loved them. The rest is details.